Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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