Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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