the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
