well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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