The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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