dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
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Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
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I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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