hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
