Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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