there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
