I think I am morally bankrupt
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
