I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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