I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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