Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
