im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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