I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
