Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
