Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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