Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
