He asked to "fluff my boner.."
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
