Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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