Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
sex in a hospital.. check
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Randomize
