I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
