i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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