For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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