remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
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I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
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I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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