You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
