I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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