I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
