Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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