her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
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Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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