So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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