Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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