Having a random hookup so left but love u
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize