I murdered the dance floor call the cops
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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