omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
