If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
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I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
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It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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