You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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