I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
