She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
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i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
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Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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