my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Come see our sink grown plant.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Randomize
