she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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