The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
