if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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