its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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