I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
