WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
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