i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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