I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
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So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
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