drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
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New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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