even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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