I'm jealous of your bromance
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
