I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
no you cant smoke seaweed
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
