"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
