dude i'm inner monologue high
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
