i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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