i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
