I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
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What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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