Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
