im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
