I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
We talked him into tasing himself.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
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