i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
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