peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
