did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize